Hello my fellow Poker Wives... I'm pretty shaken up today, let me tell you why.
Me and Josh have been struggling with our new lifestyle, where supposedly he has to pay for his share of things, and I pay for mine. It has been a struggle because.. he has barely any money and because I wasn't entirely aware of how little he has.
So.. it's been very difficult for me, for instance, to go with him to the market and see his tension and how he worries about what he can or cannot buy, when he had never acted like the before, while I was paying for everything. It's amazing how he just didn't care...
It also sucks not to be able to do half the things we did before, when I was paying. Now we don't eat out, we don't go to the movies (unless I pay) and we don't go out, because he has no money. It's incredible how much the lack of a "margin" (my bank account) can change our lives. Suddently he has no money at all for anything that isn't his food or gym.
He explains this situation by accusing me of "leading him" to having spent more money than he should for years, which resulted in him not having any savings and now being unprepared to live without my financial help. According to him, my lifestyle was "contagious" in a sense that, as I didn't care how much I spent, he didn't care how much he spent, even though he had (I came to find out) pennies to live by. This doesn't make any sense to me, since, as I explained earlier, when we had dinner together he would eat 15 dollar ribs while I got the 5 dollar burger (this is just an example). So... I think he's just refusing to take responsibility for his choices. I mean, if I have enough money to eat out, I don't have to worry about my expenses... but if he doesn't have money, he should worry about his!!! It seems pretty easy to understand, but he thinks different.
Anyway... yesterday I had the most shocking conversation with him. I found out that he earns like 200 dollars a month, playing poker. OMG. Like three thousand a year, which is what I make in a only couple of months! And he still thinks it's awesome!!! How can this be? I mean, I'm speachless. Keep in mind that he has a monthly payment of 120 dollars (the bank loan he got years ago), which means that he has about 100 dollars to live with every month. If I wasn't in his life he would starve!
I don't know how he will deal with this reality in the future, but I must stay strong and continue not to pay for anything as much as possible, so he can understand things. I mean, he is completely delusional... he thinks that, since he invested 5K and has earned around 3K in one year (200 dollars a month), he is a successful investor. Really, Josh, really?! Yeah, it's awesome to earn almost 3K in a year investing only 5K, but that's not as great if it's the only money you have to live your life!
Will he ever wake up?
What do you think? Any advise on how I should handle this? Comment or email me at wivesofpoker@gmail.com.
this may offend u, but its far easier to identify with Josh than u. but of course, id do far better than Joshs $200 a month long term. before my roll got in such horrible shape, my phone records showed me averaging $11 per hour til i got too low to play $1-2 no limit anymore.
ReplyDeleteno shit tbc u can relate to josh. LMAO.u both r delusional. really tony 11 dollars and hour . then y r u going to live with yr mom and collect food stamps?
DeleteIt's not offensive Tony, it's somewhat (in a sick, twisted way, for sure) a relief to know he's not the only person like this in the world. :)
DeleteYou and angerisagift should definately get together some time and work out your differences LOL
LMAO. nah. just read some of his posts. it is just so delusional,andrea.
DeleteTony is Josh, subtract hygiene, hobbies, ambition, and appeal to women. He has been a "pro" for 20 years, and is homeless and has a suitcase, a mostly broken laptop, a cut off cell phone, and $500 to his name. He displays the same level of denial as to his ability to be successful, and has the same reasons and excuses and manipulations as to why he can't be self reliant and refuses to work to support himself like everyone else.
DeleteTony has publicly lamented not having a woman to live with who would pay his bills in exchange for not cheating on her. He instead subsists off sleeping outside or in free rooms, eating off the dollar menu or comped buffets or 80 cent cans of beans from wal mart, and begging for handouts from his blog readers.
Tony is what you have to look forward to if you stick around. You are enabling a man child who is probably only with you because he can't function without you. He is too much of a narcissist to ever want to do anything differently for the sole reason of making you happy, and is probably only there until livghtning strikes and he has enough money to leave you and move to Vegas to live his deluded dream full time. And once he goes broke , he will be right back trying to lie and manipulate you into doing it all over again. You deserve better. Stop supporting and enabling a man child.
I've just found you article.
ReplyDeleteThere is only ONE move for you to make.
Leave him!
Leave him TODAY.
Pack him up...all his stuff and send him on his way.
There is no road ahead for you with this man other than one covered in pain and misery.
I promise you that. There is no silver lining, he will not get better at poker, he's never going to win enough to support himself, you will always be propping him up and end up making excuses for him.
Save yourself the headaches and heartaches.
Finish it asap. Move on. Be happy.
2 true ,bro.
DeleteWhat about.. love? :)
Deletewhere is the love,girl. sounds like he loves poker,spending yr money,working out,etc,etc.
DeleteWow. Very interesting blog. I just finished reading from post 1 to this post.
ReplyDeleteI think there are multiple types of poker players in the world - it doesn't sound like you have a problem gambler on your hand because he actually earns money at it. However, it sounds like you have a delusional player, or maybe even one who doesn't put in enough hours. The reason I say that is he's making $200 / mo - enough to be a recreational player. He could get a job at McDonalds and make more... perhaps play after work or something?
On a side note, and I know this has nothing to do with anything, but I'm at a loss for trying to understand why you've put up with him for this duration. It would seem that you have your problems and issues sorted out on paper, here in the blog. Why haven't you re-read your blog (it's only been 4-5 short days) and realized that you're unhappy and in a bad situation? It doesn't sound like confidence is an issue (though maybe it is) because you're able to put your thoughts and logic down without hesitation. I would think that if it were me, I'd sever the relationship altogether, pain or no pain.
Thanks Meister! Well, the thing is I'm only writing about the difficult times we've been through, and about Poker in particular, not about the good stuff, or this would be an entirely different blog.
DeleteI think I'm pretty aware of my reality, I've had numerous conversations with friends, my parents, and even my therapist and they all agree that I KNOW what's going on. But when it comes to how I FEEL... now that's a whole new thing.
Thank you for reading it all, I appreciate it.
i am just glad u dont live in kansas.
ReplyDeleteWhy is that? :)
Deletebcuz u would make the perfect girl 4 TBC to use. basically u work he just plays poker .
DeleteLOLOL you're evil!
Deletejust keeping it real. LMAO.
DeleteAndrea why does Josh not get a job? Is Josh allergic to work? You have given this man more than enough chances to change and he will not, sorry but Josh does not love you or he would change.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly and I had that same conversation with him last night... will tell you about it later on a post I'm writing, as soon as I have some spare time!
DeleteAndrea why does Josh not get a job? Is Josh allergic to work? You have given this man more than enough chances to change and he will not, sorry but Josh does not love you or he would change.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the difference between a Professional Poker Player and a large pizza?
ReplyDeleteA large pizza can feed a family of four....
Too true.
s.i.
LOL indeed... but.. there are some success stories, or.. not? Anyway.. yeah, people disappoint, pizza is forever. One of my mantras.
DeleteI'm certainly curious, Andrea, does Josh read your blog? If not, how much does he know about what you blog?
ReplyDeleteHe comes off very poorly in your blog, and I'm sure his perception of events differs somewhat from your's. I don't doubt the validity of your perspective, but I'm curious to hear how he's taking the public airing of your views.
I'm sure it adds some spice to the home life :-)
s.i.