Hello everyone, here is the first scheduled post I told you about. I'm posting them once a day to keep the blog going at a good pace.
So... last night me and Josh were arguing until 5am and I asked him to show me exactly how much he's earning, and it ended up being about 450 dollars a month instead of 200. I mean, it is still a lot less than what I make, but not as horrible as I thought.
So... last night me and Josh were arguing until 5am and I asked him to show me exactly how much he's earning, and it ended up being about 450 dollars a month instead of 200. I mean, it is still a lot less than what I make, but not as horrible as I thought.
We ended up having the same fight in which I say he should get a job and he says he wasn't made to work at something he hates (basically he hates any job in this world, that he is qualified to do at least) and that he would rather earn 450 playing poker than a little more doing something else and being unhappy for the rest of his life. (as I said earlier, I don't want to give you specific details about my location, but I can tell you that in our country the minimum wage is about 550 dollars. Yeah, we're barely third-world.)
So it all comes down to this: he makes 450 dollars, which isn't much, and he only makes it every other month, which is worse. I have some important thinking to do. Any projects such as having a baby, getting a bigger house or having some special vacations are completely out of the question, unless I pay for it all. But at the same time, I don't picture myself doing any of those things with another man.
Josh has the money issue, and the whole pride issue that makes it impossible for him to quit Poker and start washing floors, even if he's close to starvation. But other than that we get along great, we have things in common, we live in the same world, I respect him, I like the way he thinks (about everything else), I mean, we share ideals, my parents like him (also, apart from this aspect of his), and we have, as you've read, a huge past, a real struggle behind us. I don't want to feel like it was all for nothing. And yes, I love him very much. My love for him is huge and is only shadowed by the position he puts me in by lacking his own money and alternatives to get more money.
Basically I have no idea of what I should do, how we should organize our finances and what would be comfortable for me while not being indulgent for him. I feel so alone in this situation. Are there any couples going through the same?? Ugh...
Oh well, I guess it's Google time, going to search for some other despeate housewives out there.
Thank you for reading.
xoxo
Andrea
450 dollars very other month is equal to $225 a month. You pretty much need to come to terms with the fact that you're with someone with no REAL ambition in life, and a full time hobby that produces a tiny hourly rate of income in exchange for its self indulgent and solitary nature.
ReplyDeleteBut at least it sounds like you're coming to terms with the fact that you're going to support and enable a man child and make excuses on his behalf and find some sort of happiness in the process. Good on you and I wish you luck. It sounds like his mind is made up that he's going to play poker for less than minimum wage and you're going to put a roof over his head and you are agreeing to it.
I actually went back and read all of the posts as opposed to the last handful. Wow. I actually feel really sorry for you.
ReplyDeleteFew people deserve the love, support, patience, and dedication you've demonstrated. For the few token times that he has put your thoughts/needs/feelings ahead of his own, he is definitely not one of them. Your relationship redefines taking someone for granted, and you're going to be in this exact same position ten years from now. Cheating on you despite all you've done for him goes to show you just how little respect he has for you. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Regardless of whether or not nothing "happened" with this soccer girl, the fact that he was even communicating with her behind your back and enjoying the attention is proof enough as to where his respect for you lies.
Yes, that seems to be the case. But to this day he claims he didn't mean to disrespect me, that it was a misunderstanding because he was just being funny online with the girl. I knew of her existence, I just didn't care because she was younger than us (we were 27, she was 20) and it never crossed my mind they'd take it to that level.
DeleteSo, you get along great, have a lot in common and you love him.
ReplyDeleteMight I suggest you keep him as your best friend?
I don not wish to sound like a boring old fart here, but, practicalities of life are going to catch up with you.
You are in your prime, prime having fun years, prime discovering yourself years, prime setting up career years, prime breeding years, prime travelling years.
You should be taking advantage of this.
You should not be spending your prime years worrying about what future you would have with a man who CLEARLY is delusional about his ability to earn a living from poker.
Very few people make a comfortable living playing poker. I say that again....VERY FEW.
How many? I ear you ask.
Let me tell you again.
VERY FEW!
Your Josh is not one of the chosen few.
I PROMISE you this!
How do you know? How can you make that promise? I hear you ask.
Well my dear, simply for the fact he got you to take out a loan from your bank....to bankroll his career, he then took a nice long holiday with that money.
For someone dedicated to Poker....or any career for that matter, their focus should be on being the very best they can be....especially when someone else is staking it.
You are staking this man.
You aren't getting a return on your investment.
Hugs and kisses don't pay the bills.
Cut him loose before you are totally consumed.
You sure sound a bit like my dad, I must say :) Josh did take a stupid vacation, like the stupid little boy he was. Now I believe he's changed... I doubt he'd make a mistake like that (we've talked about it), but I just wonder if his dedication to poker will ever pay off.
DeleteAnd you already gave me your views on that... it all comes down to hope, I think. I know him and love him, I have hope and trust things might get better. But OBVIOUSLY you could be completely right. I don't know what the future holds, I'm trying to live one day at a time for now. Maybe I should consut Theresa, the medium.
Hey Andrea,
ReplyDeleteI stumbled onto your little corner of the internet via grrouchie's blog. I have read all of your post's and I wish there was something that I could relate to you on, but I can't.
I will say this though. There was a time about 10 years ago when I was making a substantial sum of money playing Stars and Full tilt. I was young and in a commited relationship at the time and I was considering moving to Vegas to make a living out of my "awesome poker skills". I thought I had the game beat because I was cashing out around 10K a month. I discussed it with my girlfreind and she was completely against the idea, but she wanted me to see for myself. So she told me to take a weeks vacation and go to Vegas and do nothing but play cards to see how it went. I did and it turned out that the advise she gave me was the greatest advise I have gotten in a long time.
Long story short, I went to Vegas for a week with 8K and did nothing but play 2/5 no limit which was the game I was beating so often online. After the week I came home with 1200 dollars left of the stake I went with. I realized how hard of a life being a pro player would be and I have never wanted to attempt it ever since.Poker is now simply a nice hobby for me. That girlfriend is now my wife of 5 years and we have 2 kids that are my entire world. I realize now that I would not have any of the great things I now have if I would have tried to "go pro". I might actually not even be alive today.
Unfortunatly, I don't think your current boyfreind is going to realize this fact in time. You need to be prepared for a long hard road if you don't seperate yourself from the current situation. I am rooting for you and I hope things work out for you. I really do.
-grouse
Thank you for sharing your story with me, grouse. My first reaction when Josh decided to "go pro" was to accept it, also because I thought if he would fail soon enough, he'd just quit. He didn't - he kept winning a little and looking for strategies to win more.
DeleteI think Josh will never be talked into quitting poker, for several reasons. But if he's put in a situation where he HAS to do something else, I guess he will. I've put him in that situation by cutting my "sponsorship", but that wasn't working for me either so we've now reached a new agreement and I will see how that goes. I will post about it soon.
Thanks again for your insights, I'm happy that your "adventure" only cost you that much, and that you got back on track (and on the right track) from then on. I wish you and your family all the best :)
Hello Andrea, I am so sorry to read about your experiences in this blog. I hope that you will make the right decisions going forward, knowing what you know from past experience. Can you really envision a happy future with Josh?
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, reading about Josh reminds of a scene from Seinfeld. If you haven't seen his show before, he is a comedian in US that has a comdey TV show, with him being the central character.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7kKXWuXnfU
Hahaha that was hilarious, thanks for lightning the mood a little around here. Seinfeld is one of my fav shows ever :) and I'd never seen that clip before.
DeleteRegarding my future... looking back, things have been improving slowly. I went from a relationship with an abusive boyfriend who cheated on me and mistreated me, to a normal, healthy one (not wealthy though) with someone who now puts real effort into making me happy (apart from the money issue).
This is what allows me to believe in a brighter future. Well, I don't believe in it with all my heart, or I wouldn't even have this blog, but I HOPE for it. A part of me still believes.
We will all find out soon enough if it's the dumbest part of me.
r u listening to what ppl r saying? i am assuming u started this blog to get advice and the overwelming response is cut yr loses and dump this dude. so ,stop making excuses,girl. make a decision. hope floats like shit.
Delete"I went from a relationship with an abusive boyfriend who cheated on me and mistreated me, to a normal, healthy one"
Deletewat????
grouse, i have a difficult time believing that u claim it was much easier for u to win $10k a month playing $2-5 NL online than it was to win money playing LIVE CASH in vegas $2-5. are u sure u didnt lose the money playing BJ or machines?
ReplyDeleteevery single person in the world claims that online the games are much tougher than live, and that playing $1-2 NL live is equivalent to playing 5c10c or 10c25c NL online. so winning at $2-5 NL live would be far easier than beating $2-5 NL online. ask pokerdogg
Tony,
DeleteBJ or Machines??? Really?
When I was playing online making good money, I was playing 6 tables. When I play live I get bored and can really only sit for 4 hours max. Then I have to walk around or find a new game. I just don't have the attention span to make consistant money live. Not that I have to explain shit to a homeless liar such as yourself.
By the way Tony, how much is your sock roll currently? I will be in Vegas on Saturday for a few days. You want to play heads up for whatever it is you have in your sock? I am game. How about you?
-grouse
LMAO.tony is just a fucking loser.
Delete