chapter VI - the big break-up

By June 2011, Josh and I were living under the same ceiling but growing more and more apart. The house was mine, which meant he didn't pay rent (actually I'm paying a bank loan on the house) or any work that had to be done in the building. The car was mine, which meant he only helped with gas money from time to time and didn't pay for the insurance. The internet and cable service was free, because I work in a company that pays for it. 

So basically he had quite some advantages moving in with me, while I had none by taking him in. Monthly bills and food were supposed to be divided, but thanks to the poker's uncertainty, he only paid every other month. We even had a fight because, when he first moved in, he brought up the fact that up until then I had been using his house (like showering and watching TV and using the lights and stuff) without paying for it. This meant that he should be entitled to live in my house for a couple of months without paying for anything. I agreed, although now I look back and see this petty, ridiculous attitude of his. He didn't pay for anything in November and December, and when January came and I asked for the money, we fought because he was convinced I had said "until January", which I did, but not including January. He didn't want to pay the bills until February.

I don't remember how that story ended, but you can see the type of thing I had to put up with. Meanwhile, he started helping my father out on his antique business, hoping this would bring more money home... but it didn't. In fact, his enthusiasm with antiques only kept him from playing poker and when the antique selling didn't work out as he had hoped for, he had no money at all.

This started a terrible period between us, we had constant fights because I kept suggesting he got a job or went back to school and he would freak out on me every time. He was also more and more careless about his attendace at the tables, because he was obsessed with playing soccer with his friends. He used to organize two to three matches every week (reminder: renting the field wasn't for free...) and was determined to became the best soccer player in the group. I couldn't deal with such ridiculousness. Besides the matches, he went out frequently at night to meet friends (including females I didn't even know) on a regular basis.

The shit hit the fan when, after noticing he was growing more and more distant, I decided to check out his Facebook account. Yeah, it's wrong, but I'm glad I did it, because it was a real eye-opener. He had been talking to one of his new female friends in a very suspicious way. The conversation indicated that they had been together the previous night and he was actually begging her to get together on that very night.

I totally lost it. He had gone out for a run, so I went after him and had a huge fight on the street, I insulted him, spat on him and tried to beat him (I had already done that when I was suspicious of these "friends"). It was a very low moment for me... and for him. We went home and he tried to explain that he hadn't done anything wrong, he was just being an idiot online with that girl, enjoying the attention, but nothing had actually happened. I didn't believe him.

After that terrible night, I left to my parents house and told them everything. They told me he had to go immediatelly, that he was a low life good for nothing who was simply draining me out, financially and emotionally. I was so filled with hatred and betrayal that I agreed. I gave him 5 days to get the hell out of my place and told him I never wanted to see him again.

But as usual, life had other plans for both of us.

Thank you for reading, I understand this part of the story is a bit "soap-opera-like", but it all comes down to the same problem: if he wasn't playing poker, if he had a regular job and money coming in every month (even if it wasn't much), we wouldn't have lived this nightmare.