I've been reading some posts on the twoplustwo forum and one of the issues that caught my attention was the hard time professional players have explaining others what they do for a living, or trying to be accepted. This also happens to Josh, and to me, when someone asks me what he does.
When he first started playing for a living, 4 years ago, he told his friends and family, but wasn't comfortable with telling the truth to acquaitances. His family didn't take it well, immediatelly trying to make him quit and go back to a "real" job. My parents didn't take it seriously, they didn't imagine it would last this long, I'm sure. But for everyone else it seemed there would be too many explanations involved and that it would be easier just telling a little lie.
So, now I only tell the whole truth when I absolutely have to. On most occasions I just say "my husband works at home", because that leads to a world of possibilities that require no explanation: he could be a freelance designer, a stock investor, or whatever other "respectable" jobs you can do from home.
The issue with Poker is, obviously, its connection to gambling and with the idea of addiction. My real dad was a computer engineer and worked at least 12 hours a day, but that was ok, no addiction there... wait, what? Yeah.
Although other jobs can be equally addictive, Poker can have you loosing your entire family savings in no time. So.. it's understandable that most of the people I tell the truth to have a some kind of reaction. Men usually get excited, consider it "great" and say they wish they could do the same thing, or that their wives/girlfriends allowed them to do the same thing. Women just stare at me with a mix of amazement and worry in their eyes.
And then comes the explaining (or my general idea of how the game works) - that he pays only a small ammount to enter tournaments where he can win a lot, or just plays low stakes sit and gos and slowly builds his monthly income, that he doesn't go to the casino (this is usually reassuring to women and strange to men) and only plays online.
And then comes the explaining (or my general idea of how the game works) - that he pays only a small ammount to enter tournaments where he can win a lot, or just plays low stakes sit and gos and slowly builds his monthly income, that he doesn't go to the casino (this is usually reassuring to women and strange to men) and only plays online.
Making a living off online poker is the equivallent, for many people, to being a couch potato, someone lazy, unqualified for a better job, someone very irrealistic and immature or just plain dumb. The line between a professional player and a degenerate gambler is thin... and people have no trouble judging others, even if they've never even met Josh. I don't blame them. We all need some order in our lives and sometimes that means putting people into little boxes we can easily define, understand and relax about.
When I say my husband plays poker, the immediate reaction will most of the times be: poker = gambling = addiction = no stability or chance of a good future = she's doomed. So, instead of saying it and getting pity from others, I just lie and dream of a better world, like that chicken down there.
What about you?
When I say my husband plays poker, the immediate reaction will most of the times be: poker = gambling = addiction = no stability or chance of a good future = she's doomed. So, instead of saying it and getting pity from others, I just lie and dream of a better world, like that chicken down there.
What about you?
is he making a living by playing poker,really? if something happen to yr job like layoff,hours cut,u got sick,etc,etc. would his poker playing pay the bills?
ReplyDeleteHmm yes, it would pay the bills, but we would have to cut expenses, including on food.
DeleteIf he lived alone he would be able to survive, but wouln't be able to have the lifestyle he has with me, like buying his supplements and eat really well.
so basically hmm no.
DeleteYou've got to be a stronger woman than you give yourself credit for to put up with a poker player. Playing to make money takes a lot of time away from other things. He doesn't have a job so maybe he will be able to balance everything a little easier between poker and life. To a player there is always more money to be made, and different ways to get there. Everything seems to get in the way of getting there, family, people needing the money right now, needing to play at certain times and something comes up, etc.
ReplyDeleteFor you to have to work around that must be hard. My wife has had to put up with a lot over the years, some things I'm not so proud of, like telling her I lost because she called me at the exact moment I went all in. I have come to see that distractions do cost me a lot of money, but that's something I shouldn't take out on her like I have.
She respects my decision to play. I try to respect our family time.
We have talked numorous times about if I got to a certain level of play that there may be a possibility of quitting my job. My parents would hate it. She has always said to go after what I want. She wanted me to be a stay at home Dad for a long time because she thought it would make me happier. I was concerned about how people would perceive that and feared that what people thought would make me unhappy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, this is your lives. If you and him are happy who cares what other people say. He may catch a lucky break and make more money at poker. He may not. This is who he is right now. Can you be happy with him the way he is?
"Everything seems to get in the way of getting there", it was somewhate reassuring to read because he says that too. There's always some unnexpected expense coming up, like a gigantic bill or someone's birthday or something.
DeleteIt is hard for me but mostly because of the uncertainty about our future... fortunately he doesn't "blame" me for his bad hands, I sometimes even watch him play, but rather not (so I can't be blamed!).
Poker players definately have a lot of social pressure on them and the idea of being a stay at home dad is still very very difficult to accept for most people. I think it's great, if both you and your wife are ok with it.
Your last words are right to the spot, that's what matters, I have to live my life on a day to day basis, respect what I want (and I still believe he can do it, sometimes) and forget conventions.
Thanks for commenting! :)
I love my step dad and I think their relationship is great, Aristocrat Pokies
ReplyDelete