Tuesday, 10 September 2013

chapter II - one tough cookie

My relationship with Josh had many problems and money wasn't, by then, the biggest of them. Although I supported him, respected him and even pampered him with gifts from time to time (like buying him an expensive watch for his birthday and not getting a single birthday gift in return when I turned 25), I felt like he didn't love me back. After a few years I realised he did love me, but his poor behaviour as a boyfriend was the best he could do for anyone.

My worst struggle was dealing with the fact he didn't value me, or recognized what I meant to him. This is something that, because of his choices in life and how we live our lives, I still feel to this day.

A few days after my birthday, he cheated on me. I couldn't bring myself to break it off by then, because I was finishing my Master's Degree and breaking up would ruin it for me, I just wasn't enough emotionally stable to do it. So a few months went by, I finished my thesis and we broke up because of how he reacted to it: pure indifference. He didn't congratulate me, didn't care for how good my grades were (and they were good) and he basically ressented me for being successful. 

I couldn't deal with such lack of empathy and of... love, and broke up. But I still loved him... so two weeks later we ended up getting back together.

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