Hi guys. I'm a bit upset today.
Josh and I were talking just now, he was complaining about his bad luck and told me that if things go on like this he'll have to leave my house. I asked him where to, he said he didn't know, just leave. Actually his exact words were "when my bankroll dries out, I definatelly will not work at a store... and you won't support me, so I'll leave, just go somewhere".
I told him that if that is the case, maybe he should start building an education, take some courses or something, while he still has money, so he can later pursue a "normal" job. He immediately said no. He said that entering the market at 30 years old and earning $1000 was out of the question. So I told him "well, fine, at least you're aware of your situation". And that was that.
He believes that the problem in his life isn't Poker and the fact he doesn't win anything, but me and the "pressures" or "influences" as he puts it, that my presence implies. He believes that if he moves somewhere else he will be able to save a lot more, because I make him spend money. This is ludicrious to me, but what can I say? I mean, I'm paying all the bills from now on (and until now I helped him pay and he paid me back later), I pay my half of the food, I pay him an extra $25 a week for him to do whatever he wants. He speaks as if I was like a little tempting voice inside his head telling him to go eat beef every week or go out drinking every two weeks or spend his money unwisely.
Besides, he blames my father for raising false hopes regarding the antique business. He bough a few things and now claims he was wasting money based on the false idea my dad gave him (that the business would go just fine). Damn... is it me, or is he not taking responsibility for his choices?
I think I have nothing to apologize regarding my lifestyle. I've always tried to save money, since I was a kid. I usually don't indulge in stupid spendings, and even when I do, I pay my credit cards entirely every month, without interest fees. I don't eat at fancy restaurants and I certainly don't force Josh to do so. I think he's just angry for losing so much and is blowing off steam with these threats of leaving me.
Maybe he expects me to say that I will support him no matter what, that I will accept my "blame" for making him spend money he shouldn't have from his bankroll (the bankroll I provided him with) and give him back those 2K (or so), so he can get back on track. But I feel like he's always trying to get back on track. And my patience isn't the same as it was a year ago.
So... yeah, if he decides to leave, if he convinces himself of the preposterous idea that I'm responsible for his life choices and his finantial situation, I'll have to let him go. I just have to.
PS: I will try to post his Hold'em Manager stats as soon as I have a few alone moments in the house, so you can get a better idea of how he's doing at Poker.
PS: I will try to post his Hold'em Manager stats as soon as I have a few alone moments in the house, so you can get a better idea of how he's doing at Poker.
So his big threat is to.....run away? Like a child? Does he know he's not 12?
ReplyDeleteHehehe that was a funny way of putting it and yeah you're right, I feel like I'm being manipulated by my son or something! But after I wrote this post we talked again and I believe it was just his frustration speaking. He doesn't want to leave, he was just blaming the world for his misfortune, as usual. But my patience is running slim.
Deleteandrea. dump the bum. seriously WTF. HE IS AS DELUSIONAL AS TBC. all these "pros" dont realize how hard it is to make a living playing poker as a job.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you are upset. Sounds like Josh is back to his manipulative self, and does not take responsibilities for his own action, decisions, and lack of success. It is always someone else's fault.
ReplyDeleteIf he actually believes he can save more money by living on his own, and not having you to pay his living expenses, then he is very deluded.
I told a good friend of mine what had happened and she agrees with you, so yeah I guess I'm not making anything up or giving my distorted view of things. I do believe he's delusional. I admit I'm still hoping he sees the light though. We will see what happens.
Deleteandrea please call his bluff. Josh is there for a 100% free ride. Josh does not feel about you the same way you feel about him. This idiot is a loser in life and will never change its in his DNA.
ReplyDeleteThere is simply no reason Josh cannot get a part time job to help out with expenses and build a bankroll. I hope you use your head and make the rite decision. Let this bum go and cut your losses.
Yes, I will let him go if he chooses to, but I doubt he will. He already told me (after this post) he loves me and doesn't want to leave and would only leave to help me, if that meant stop being a burden to me.
DeleteI told him it doesn't make sense to leave, I mean if he wants to stop being a burden just get a job! But he doesn't seem convinced yet.
You really do need to cut your losses Andrea, this cat is delusional. You deserve much better than you are getting.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am taking that into serious consideration.
Deleteidk. this blog is too much like TBC. the person asks 4advice but in the end. will not take the advice
ReplyDeleteWe have different views on what asking for advice is... I believe I'm just pouring my heart out (because it makes me feel good and helps me look back at things later), I'm not exactly asking what I should do. Of course I welcome any advice, but I will not go against my own will. We talked about this already anger :)
DeleteBut for tomorrow I do need some help. I'll post a few of his habits/winnings/stats and I ask you, all of you, to read it and let me know if it shows he's a lousy player just pretending to be great.
Dear angerisagift/comprehensionisacurse:
DeleteAndrea's intention was quite clear, she wants to find other poker wifes/girlfriends that may be going through the same experiences as her. Lots of people have given her advice to leave Josh, but they were unsolicited.
If after 6 years he is knocking down a cool 225.00/month playing 30-40 hours a week there is really no need to worry about posting his database numbers. With those numbers he is a losing player recouping his losses with frequent player points. That said if you guys are content with those numbers then so be it. I spent 3 years playing online in Venezuela and lived like a king on 25K a year playing low limit games about 30 /hrs/week. The amount of money is really not that important as long as you have a decent existence and are happy, there is definitely something to be said for living in an environment where the cost of living is low. The thing that irks me is that this cat is asking you to pay for dinners and other things while taking on the task of cleaning the house and preparing dinner. Those should be things he does regardless if he is staying at home everyday. He is not physically abusing you but he is doing just about as badly with mentally and emotionally abusing you with his games while extracting his pound of flesh. Just speaking from my own experience as a person that has crept over into middle age I spent a hell of a lot of time in relationships that just weren't going anywhere but for whatever reason I didn't extract myself from them. Looking back on this sure there were some good times interspersed here and there but for the most part most days were pretty blah or downright shitty. Life is too short to put yourself in positions where most of your days are not pleasant. Even knowing this it ain't easy to reach that point when you are busting ass every day to make a living but at least give yourself a fighting chance. I suppose that is enough of a philosophy lesson for one day:) I would say just don't take his shit. If you like the guy and want to be with him then you got to lay down the law to make your life as pleasant as possible and if he can't accommodate you while also being content with himself then you are both in for a less than pleasant future in my opinion. That is the last I will say on that, on to only analyzing his play of AQs in middle position from now on:) Have a good weekend.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, it makes total sense and it has been my goal so far: to continue the relationship, but standing up for myself and not letting him push me over my limit. But it's not easy because I have difficulties setting boundaries for what's ok and not ok with me. Sometimes I forget about it completely and allow him to mistreat me.
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