So.. yeah, just watch this video. Does it make sense to you?
xoxo
Andrea
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
the power of vulnerability
I'll leave you with this today, you might have seen it or not, but it basically sums up a lot of what I'm struggling with my whole life. It's not about Josh, our relationship, his "job", his choices... it's about me and what needs fixing inside me. It's about what I have to admit to myself about my past and stop trying to control in my present life.
So.. yeah, just watch this video. Does it make sense to you?
xoxo
Andrea
So.. yeah, just watch this video. Does it make sense to you?
xoxo
Andrea
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You don't change just one thing, you improve all things. You will find it a lot easier to improve yourself (motivation, insecurities, self-esteem) with a supportive partner who doesn't drain energy with worry, jealousy, and selfishly violating boundaries. Imagine how much relaxation and focus you would have with a faithful, supportive partner who doesn't manipulate you for money and who is open to long-term relationship plans. You can't improve Josh, but you can improve your partner.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you're the same Anonymous as the other, but either way, I disagree. We can't improve anyone but ourselves. And that improvement can happen REGARDLESS of the partner we're with, if we set our minds to it and get help. Codependent relationships don't necessarily have to end, they only have to stop being codependent.
DeleteAs I told Zin, you have to understand that I will do things in my own time. My life is still easier with Josh in it than without him. Even if rationally, morally or according to your standards this is unacceptable. This is who I am right now and others' opinions are simply that: opinions...
I have posted statistical poker comments previously, but did not post the sarcastic multiple-choice comment below.
Delete"Codependent relationships ... have to stop being codependent."
Josh will stay broke and continually manipulate you for money. You must stop being dependent on him for approval, self-esteem, or whatever. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency
You cannot change Josh; switching to a healthy partner would automatically solve your codependency. I find it satisfying for you to admit that you are choosing to stay with Josh right now for convenience' sake. When you are no longer codependent, you will wonder why you stay with someone who is holding you back financially and emotionally. There is a huge opportunity cost for a single, eligible, attractive woman in her prime. Quite simply, you don't know what (or who) you are missing. Eventually you will envy girlfriends who travel, marry, bear children, and build long-term satisfaction from their relationships.
plus she has tatts too. just saying.dotheyhave taco bell in yr country? is a quarter pounder called a royale with cheese?
DeleteI'm sorry but I have to correct you (Anonymous)... "switching to a healthy partner would automatically solve your codependency" is completely untrue :\
DeleteCodependency is a problem of mine, I've had it since I first started having relationships and will continue to have it until I get it resolved, REGARDLESS of the partner I'm with or even if I'm single. I'm not sure Wikipedia could tell you this.
I don't know why you insist on trying to convice me of things that wouldn't be healthy for me right now (leaving Josh), just because you believe them... :\
Look, I've read two books on codependency and still have a new one to read at home. I'm getting therapy. I've read numerous articles and blogs about it. They all say the same: you cannot treat codependency simply by running away from a bad relationship. You have to do it regardless of your relationship status. And by treating codependency (an inside job), your relationship will automatically improve (from codependent to healthy), or it will naturally end.
Hope I've cleared it for you. This isn't a matter of stubborness on my part, it's just that you weren't seeing the full picture, I guess.
PS: I already envy girlfriends like that, unfortunately.
stay with josh and read books?
DeleteYep, for now that's what it is.
Deletesweet. good luck with that
DeleteJosh is:
ReplyDelete[ ] a "professional" poker player
[ ] your husband
[ ] your "spouse"
[x] none of the above
And you aren't a "poker wife" either.
And your opinion is relevant because...? LOL
DeleteYou don't even read my posts, your comments are completelly off-topic, irrelevant and often repetitive, so I can only say this: get a life.
SNAP
DeleteThis was my first ever post to your blog. Not sure who you thought I was. I'm just giving you the same dose of reality that others have tried and failed to impart. The fact that it bothers you so much to be told the two obvious facts that you are not married to this guy and that he isn't any good at poker just shows how much you are in denial.
DeleteThe first Anonymous says:
DeleteI found it satisfying for you to admit that you are choosing to remain in this dysfunctional relationship (hopefully temporarily). The second Anonymous made a good (but sarcastic) point. Calling Josh a "pro" and yourself a "wife" abdicates responsibility for your decision. By denying your choice, it fosters your codependency. It is better to say that Josh is convenient because he keeps you company, provides good sex, does some domestic chores, and is fairly cheap and low maintenance. After he loses his hair, you will jettison him for the first hot opportunity.
Andrea, Josh is slowly draining all your self esteem and bank account, why do you not face up to the truth and stand your ground? There is a lot of asshole men in this world that treat women like garbage, Josh seems to be in this group. Andrea you need to get a life girl. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteHow sweet of you to defend that Anonymous comment :) I'm touched.
DeleteYou have to understand that I need to do what it feels right for ME, in MY OWN TIME. Period.
testify, girl. i am thinking another hot tattoo chick with issues. THAT IS HOT lmao. hagd
Deleteiron maiden and soundgarden r playing hellfest in france. just saying
ReplyDeleteI've seen iron maiden live (in Germany) and I've gone to Hell Fest :) I hated the festival though, it was raining all the time, no functioning showers and I couldn't sleep in the tent.. I hate camping, I just loved the bands too much, so I sacrificed and went lol.
DeleteYou should watch the video anger, really ground breaking stuff ;) oh and she's from Texas, she said her family motto is "lock and load" hehe she's funny.
sweet. i lived in texas 4 a couple of months. spring near houston. i dig maiden. the early stuff aces high and die with yr boots on. if it was raining then udidnt need showers. lol
DeleteYeah we have Taco Bell but not in my city... I don't think I ever had a meal there.. is it good? I don't eat a lot of junk food, only MacDonalds and KFC (rarely)... and pizza, pizza many times xD
Deleteis it good? it is great. pizza is awesome too.KFC is too greasy but love the sides like mac and cheese and mash potatos thou.
DeleteTaco Bell is pretty bad even by fast food standards.
DeleteWHAT heresy
DeleteAgree with PD Taco Bell is gross. 95% of all fast food joints are gross in all honesty.
Deletewtf what taco bell does with horse and dog meat is AWESOME .plus it is the only place to get the BAJA BLAST
Deleteis there any nudity in the video? if not i will pass
ReplyDeletehahahaha no.
Deletenelson mandela died. so is capetown in mourning?
ReplyDeletehow is the dog FRANKIE doing? clean water and is he getting his daily walks? does he have a sweater 4 this cold weather?
ReplyDeleteI am sad for Mandela, yes :\
DeleteFrank is great, he's getting his daily walks, I usually dress him on his little sweater or hoodie depending on my mood, but Josh doesn't because he thinks that's gay.
hoodie? that is GANGSTA. lol
Delete